Only One Thing
by NightingaleTear
Summary: There was only ever one thing she needed to hear from him... A little episode tag to Abby's goodbye to Gibbs.


**A/N: I think Abby's goodbye to Gibbs was beautiful in its own way, but I would have preferred for them to actually be in the same room and to get a little more than flashbacks. So I decided to write a little episode tag because I'm not ready to let go of Abby just yet. If you feel the same way, I hope this helps a little. Feel free to let me know what you think.**

* * *

" _There was only ever one thing I needed to hear from you…"_

He was lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The old western that had been playing in the background was long since done; the TV black. He hadn't been able to concentrate on the movie anyway. There had been no joy in watching it. Actually, there was no more joy in anything.

His joy had quite literally hopped on a plane and left the country.

" _There was only ever one thing I needed to hear from you…"_

And now, that sentence was the only thing on Gibbs' mind. Technically, Abby had never actually said those words to him, but he could still hear her voice in his head. He had committed the whole damn letter to memory.

No, the letter didn't deserve his cussing. It was a beautiful letter. Full of love. Full of Abby.

But it left him so terribly empty because it was the only thing he had left of her now.

She was gone. Like all the others.

And rightly so.

Abby would be safe in London. Well, she would be all alone in a big, dangerous city. The thought made Gibbs' stomach churn. But she would be far away from all the other bad guys who might want to get their revenge on her for putting them in jail. And more importantly, she would be far away from him. Alejandro had been right.

Everyone who got too close to him died.

Gibbs was a lot of things, but a sentimental fool was not one of them. He knew he wasn't actually to blame for all the death in his life – not for all of it anyway. People made their own choices. Kate, Jenny, Ziva… they had most certainly made their own choices. They had been strong and proud, and while he had failed them all in one way or another, they had never needed his protection. And they had faced their deaths with both eyes open.

But Abby was different. She was the one person that could never be taken from this world – the one they could never afford to lose. She was simply too good, too kind, too full of heart.

And that's why Gibbs had failed her more than all the others.

Why he didn't deserve her. Why she was right to leave.

Only he felt so alone.

And so very old.

Gibbs wasn't trying to kid anyone. He _was_ old. And he didn't care. He, too, had made his choices. The path before him, that grew shorter with every passing day, was perfectly clear to him. Or it had been.

Because it had never included saying goodbye to her.

He had been selfish. He had known death would come for him one way or another. A bullet was more likely than old age, but either way, he would be the one to go first. And Abby would cry and mourn and pour out her beautiful heart to McGee and the others. That's how things were supposed to go.

Gibbs wasn't supposed to sit here and be the one to feel her loss.

Of course Abby wasn't gone for good. Even though they had gotten way too close to that terrible, unimaginable reality. But thanks to the God Abby believed in so fiercely, she was still alive. She was only moving to another continent. She wasn't out of the world.

Except it felt like she was.

He knew there was the telephone and something called Skype or whatever. But Gibbs wasn't the guy to do any of those things. He was the face-to-face kind of guy. But her face was the one thing he wouldn't get to see anymore. The excitement in her eyes when she had found a piece of evidence that would crack their case wide open. The smile on her lips when he kissed her thanks. The exuberance in her voice when she called his name. Three times.

' _Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs.'_

If anybody else had done that, he would have smacked them senseless. But not her. Never her.

Then why couldn't he remember the last thing she had said to him? It probably had been something inconsequential. Something about a case. Something that had seemed important at the time but suddenly wasn't anymore. He couldn't remember their last actual conversation because she had said goodbye to him from the other side of the street!

" _There was only ever one thing I needed to hear from you…"_

That thing, those words, they hadn't left his lips in a long, long time. He hadn't said them to Ziva, certainly not to Kate, maybe not even to Jenny. No, aside from his parents, Gibbs was pretty sure he had only ever said it to two people in this world – and they had paid for it so dearly, it had sealed his lips forever.

But those were his demons. They weren't Abby's demons. She didn't deserve for him to make them her demons. She didn't deserve to be left wondering, to be left assuming. As if there was any doubt who she was to him.

Losing Kelly had closed up his heart. Sealed it shut. But Abby, being Abby, had found the key, moved right in and made herself at home. And he could sit here and try to deny that, or he could man up.

Gibbs got back to his feet and went looking for his damn phone.

" _Boss? Something wrong?"_ McGee answered his call, sounding sleepy. It was probably too late to call. Not that he cared.

"Is she gone?" was everything he asked.

It only took McGee a few seconds to understand. _"Not just yet. She wanted to take a red eye to London tonight. I offered to drive her to the airport, but she didn't want me to. I guess she didn't want to go through another good…"_

Gibbs hung up on him and grabbed his car keys.

The doubts came when he was already behind the wheel, driving at a steady ten miles above the speed limit.

This was not what Abby wanted. She had chosen to write him that letter, to not come inside, to not talk to him except through a window. This was going against her every wish.

" _There was only ever one thing I needed to hear from you…"_

Gibbs floored the accelerator.

At the airport, he quickly scanned the list of departing flights. Luckily, there was only one flight bound for London Heathrow at this late hour. It was already boarding.

Waving his badge like a madman and realizing just how old he had become, Gibbs made his way through security and ran to the right gate as fast as he still could.

Thoroughly out of breath, he only caught a glimpse of her perfect pigtails before she disappeared inside the jet bridge.

"Abby!"

Gibbs tried to follow her, but the flight attendant stopped him. "Excuse me, Sir. I'll need to see your ticket…"

"I'm not getting on the plane. I just need to talk to one of the passengers," Gibbs replied impatiently.

"I'm sorry, Sir. If you don't have a ticket, I can't…"

Gibbs shoved his badge into the man's face. "I'm a federal agent. Special Agent Gibbs…"

The flight attendant faltered. "Oh, I see, well, uh, I need to check with…"

At this point, Gibbs just lost it. "Come on, man. I just want to talk to my daughter!"

The flight attendant stared at him, torn between worry and pity, while Gibbs felt like he was walking a fine line between determination and desperation.

"Gibbs?"

Her voice sounded small. Full of surprise and wonder and uncertainty. But it was unmistakably Abby, standing at the entry to the jet bridge, with her shiny black platform shoes, her plaid skirt, and perfectly even pigtails tied with two red ribbons, and most importantly, her big, round, green eyes.

She looked like a lost little girl.

No, not lost.

 _His._

His little girl.

Gibbs brushed past the flight attendant, who didn't try to stop him anymore. When he stood right in front of her, Abby lowered her gaze and stared at her shoes. "Hey! Abs."

She slowly raised her head and looked at him again. So vulnerable, so scared and hopeful at the same time.

"Don't worry. I'm not here to ask you to stay," Gibbs told her.

"You're not?" Abby wondered, and to his surprise, the light in her eyes seemed to dim a little with disappointment.

Gibbs frowned. "Did you want me to?"

Abby quickly shook her head. "No, I need to do this."

"The only thing you need to do is to listen to your heart, Abs."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"It will be. Because I love you, Abs. No matter what," he finally gave her the answer he had owed her for so long.

Abby's eyes lit up like Christmas morning, and her lips widened into a smile that warmed her face and his heart. She flung her arms around his neck so fast, it almost knocked him back a couple of steps. But he would never dream of letting go.

"I love you, too, Gibbs! So, so much!" she sobbed into his shoulder. "And I'm sorry for that letter. I should have come in and talked to you in person. I was just… I didn't know… I thought…"

"Hey! Abs, what are you doing?" Gibbs put a hand on the back of her head to soothe her.

Still sniffing a little, she pulled back and wiped her eyes. "You're right. Rule no. 6. I'm… not sorry. I was just scared what you were going to say…"

"Don't make me hit you, Abby. What else was I going to say except how proud I am of you for doing this."

"You are?"

Seeing her whole demeanor change, Gibbs wondered how he had never found the guts to tell her before. He had always figured it was perfectly understood between the two of them, since he wasn't a man of many words. But he now realized that some things really needed to be said.

"Like I told you. You gotta go where your heart wants to go. And you have the biggest heart I have ever known, Abs. But that's not necessarily true for the rest of the world. So I want you to take this."

He slipped and envelope into her hand, and Abby's eyes grew wide. "No, Gibbs, I can't accept this."

"Abs, I've been working for NCIS for years, and all I need is an old TV and a boat in the basement. You put that to better use than me."

Still a little hesitant, Abby slipped the money into her purse. "Okay, but I'll make you an official investor once the charity is up and running."

Gibbs opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it.

"And until then, promise me we'll FaceTime!"

"Abs…"

"It's super easy! McGee can set it up for you! Please, Gibbs?!" She tucked on his hand, her eyes pleading with him, two pools of adoration and love.

Gibbs sighed. He had always stood firm on wanting nothing to do with this ridiculous technology. But the need in Abby's eyes was real. She needed him to support her. It was the kind of need that mattered. More than even catching bad guys ever could. And quite honestly, it might give him some peace of mind to see her every now and then – even if it was via a telephone or whatever.

"Fine. For you, Abs. Anything."

Abby beamed at him, all tears forgotten. Gibbs knew he would regret it later, but right now, it was worth it.

The flight attendant cleared his throat behind them. "I'm sorry. Ms. Sciuto? You really need to get on board that plane if you still want to fly to London with us."

Abby's smile dimmed. This was it. Their second goodbye. The one that would stick.

But now he had told her what she needed to hear. Now he could let her go so she could do what she was meant to do. Conquer the world. Even if it meant not seeing her every day. Didn't mean he couldn't be proud. Didn't mean he loved her any less.

"Go get 'em, sweet girl."

Abby hugged him again, and Gibbs made sure to commit the feeling to memory, to treasure it. Until next time.

"Thank you, _Daddy,"_ she whispered into his ear, kissed him on the cheek, and then she was gone.

But not without a smile and a wave.

Gibbs had had not one but two daughters in his life.

Unfortunately, he knew the pain of losing one.

But this one he wouldn't lose.

This one he would love until his dying day.


End file.
